God of Ephemera in Name and Nature

Ephemera indeed. I have a monster blog post here, because several things happened, and like an idiot, I tried to lump them all together instead of writing them individually as they happened.

The Berber From Hell

Only my insane family would decide to embark on a week-long renovation project on Christmas Day. I can only shake my head and laugh, but I can't really blame them, after all. The carpet in our house is absolutely disgusting, but for most of the past ten years, it was covered with furniture.

Of course, once that was cleared away, and we actually saw the state of the putrid berber, our initial reaction was: O_O Kill it! Burn it with fire! Throw it into the fires of Mount Doom! I was there, Gandalf. I was there, three thousand years ago, when Isildur...

I seem to have migrated from carpets to Lord of the Rings. It is appropriate, however: unlike the One Ring, while the carpet is not inherently evil, nor does it possess people, it seems safe to say, that if the nice new laminate floors we have in other rooms is the Shire...our old carpet is Gollum. It has lived far too long and has gone a little senile.

As far as one can ever predict renovation projects, I know what I'm in for, since we've replaced the flooring in other rooms in our house. This is going to be a huge time suck, just when I was going to start 100D2 and milwordy! Oh, and class too, of course. :-D It will be worth it in the end, however: I wholeheartedly agree that that carpet needs to die!

And on that head, this in no way means that I am not doing 100D2 and milwordy. I've had those planned for far too long. I'll just have less time to do them in, which should not be too bad, as long as I remember not to spend my free time reading web comics, watching movies and TV shows, and idly surfing the internet. That's really what wastes the most time.

Sleep. Sleep. What is sleep.


I finished the last two character sketches for the three NaNo people who requested them (a day earlier than my goal!), so that's good. :-D The result, however, is that now when I take a look at my own unfinished character & scene drawing that I was working on before, I just cringe at several glaring flaws that never bothered me before. I think I am just going to start over on that one...later. :-)

I finally broke out of the drawing binge. I am taking a break and not touching a pencil again before December 26th, when 100D2 starts. I have started outlining Storyland (...again) in anticipation of milwordy. So far, I have tried writing it twice, producing a crappy unfinished draft riddled with huge plot holes and stray scenes each time. However, I am not completely bummed. The plot solidifies a little more each time! At this point, I have had to force myself to admit that it's a trilogy, because there's just too much that happens to fit it all into one book. But now that I have accepted that, it makes things a lot clearer. I can focus on one book's worth of material, instead of panicking about three. Hopefully, by the end of January, I can have Draft 1 done, which is imperative! This, of course, brings me to my Milwordy PLN.

Milwordy PLN:

January: Finish Draft 1 of Storyland.
February: Leave Storyland alone completely. Write paranormal romance novel. I am sick of recycling old plot bunnies. I am going to do something completely new for this one, which means that I am not even going to think about what it might be for a few more weeks.
March: NaNoEdMo - National Novel Editing Month. And that's why I want Draft 1 finished in January, so that I can approach March with a fresh mind. Editing right after writing doesn't help as much, because it's still all in your head, so you're still wearing your writer hat. For editing, you want to see it as your reader would. Also, this is the month in which I am going to write a few short stories, to keep my word count up.
April: Script Frenzy. I am going to rebel, and write a novel instead of a script, however. If I haven't finished February's novel, I might work on that, or I might write Draft 2 of Storyland Book 1, or Draft 1 of Storyland Book 2, or...yeah.
May: Nothing yet, but again, this would be a good time to lay in a stock of short stories, of which there is a dearth.
June: Camp NaNoWriMo! I don't know what I'm going to write yet.
July: JulNoWriMo! I don't know what I'm going to write here either.
August: Camp NaNoWriMo again! Don't know what I'll write here either.
September: Empty month. Nothing planned.
October: Empty month. Nothing planned.
November: NaNoWriMo 2012! Gotta think of a novel idea.
Decmeber: Another empty month. Nothing planned.

...Well, I never said that my Milwordy PLN was completed. :-D But while I haven't decided what I will work on during those unallocated months, and during the wrimos, I have a bunch of unwritten ideas. Amber of Time (the name for the set of books spawned during NaNo10) still has to be written and planned. I have to write Raven too. I also have Fireline (code name for crappy novel I wrote in high school, and which will probably be a set of books) to rewrite. There's also the virtual fantasy novel that's really a science fiction novel in disguise. Then there's the one about the steampunk actor who looks like Matt Smith who gets kidnapped by a mad homeless princess. You know what, I am not going to list all my plot bunnies here. I have way too many. Suffice it to say that they're all waking up slowly, and sniffing the horizon hopefully, because they smell Intent to Write. The muses smile and nod. Oh goodness. I am scared now. When the muses smile and nod, I know my brain will be in for one hell of a ride.

Where Have You Been, My Beloved?

This will be of absolutely no interest to anyone else but myself, but I am in love again. Those who are accustomed to me falling in love know enough to roll their eyes and ask, 'What inanimate object is it this time?'

Color pencils, my friends.

So far I have just stuck to graphite, because I am deathly afraid of color. If black and white is a scientifically defined universe, then color is a whole other crazy howling hyperspatial dimension that I would rather not enter. Not only do you then have to pay attention to tone and value, but you have to pay attention to color shifts too. When I have to look at all that, I usually end up with a royal mess on my hands. A kindergartener could probably do better.

However, my mom took a look at what I have been drawing recently, and then suggested that it might be worth it to invest in some good quality blendable color pencils. Now, she is not one who is prone to suggesting needless methods of expenditure, so I know that if she feels it's worth it, then it probably is, especially since I have no intention of giving up drawing anytime soon. I really want to improve. Long story short, I did my research, and found my soulmate in Prismacolor pencils, which just about blow everything else out of the water. I headed to Michael's, and bought the smallest pack available, after swallowing the sticker shock. They later went back to the store, for that very reason. However, I was not at all dissatisfied with the product. Those things are amazing. I actually found that they are less than half the price on Amazon.com, so I ordered some from there instead. The picture below is what I am getting, and they are well worth it. These are magic pencils. I can't wait for them to arrive!

Image from amazon.com

Prismacolor pencils are blendable! You can create any shade, even if you don't have it. Moreover, there are multiple ways of blending. I tried them out with tortillions (rolled up pieces of paper that blend), and also with alcohol. These pencils are alcohol soluble, so when you apply it, it makes the colors really bright, giving them an almost luminous quality. And because the pencil colors can be both opaque and translucent, you can also color very lightly, and sort of delicately layer colors, so that you can see the colors below. Lastly, you also get a colorless blending pencil, which is basically a Prismacolor pencil with no pigment. I have one, but haven't tried it out yet, but that gives a different effect, which works for small areas.

Oh, and did I mention that these things are erasable? 

Sorry if I sound like an advertisement. I have found my soul mate.

Crayola can eat it.

Life is Funny Like That

One of my writing buddies found this picture, which is so uncannily appropriate for NaNo11's Novel 2, a.k.a. Raven, that it's downright eerie.

Left: Gol the cybernetic raven | Right: His mentor/friend/creator Sadre the Nocharen
I should perhaps explain a little background here. Gol is a cybernetic raven construct, and essentially a slave. He actually has multiple bodies, like a flock of birds with a single mind. His mind, however, is capable of processing things in parallel, so he really can be in two places at the same time, or he can bring his bodies together and act like a coordinated flock of birds. Gol's masters are the Nocharen Sideas (plural, alternate form Noch), an "alien" race who are biological time travelers and shape shifters. They naturally live in four or five dimensions at a time, and they often travel up and down the space-time continuum, and enter any universe they please, usually by disguising themselves as one of the indigenous species. They are pretty adaptable that way, but although they can change themselves into any species (as long as they know about it already), they cannot control what they look like any more than humans. They cannot control things like beauty, for instance, and if they get injured, that injury will persist to their other forms. Gender is another such thing, although that one's tricky. It is possible for a Nocharen (singular form of Noch, or Nocharen Sideas) to manifest themselves as different genders, but only in different species. That is, when they change into one specific species, their gender will always be the same. However, it could be different for another species. These tendencies are different for each Nocharen.

However, it's also what sets the Noch (short for Nocharen Sideas) apart from their slaves. While the Noch can biologically travel time and space, and change shape, their slaves do not have this power, or if they do, it is due to technology, and not biological.

Gol's particular creator is Magahakasadre (Sadre for short). The funny part is, when my NaNo buddy sent this picture to me, she didn't even know that Sadre habitually changes into cats, and that it was one of his favorite shapes. Neither did she know that Gol and Sadre often take walks like this. A nice coincidence, I think!

Sadre is a bit of a child prodigy (though he is analogous to a teenager at the time of the book), who is a genius at producing biological constructs. But though he is gifted, he has a disability in that he is unable to shape shift into any form that has wings. Therefore, when he got left behind on expeditions that involved flying, Sadre channeled his energies into developing his gift. Gol is his masterpiece, as well as his 'child'. Gol is unusual for a slave, because of his superhuman intelligence, the complexity of his biological build, and also because Sadre contravened Noch tradition by illegally installing tech in his brain that allows him to make rudimentary changes to his appearance, and to make short spatial and temporal jumps. The tech helps Gol to communicate, because he's mute, but the rest of it is what attracts attention and causes trouble amongst the other Nocharen Sideas.

 From Sadre's point of view, their relationship is more like friendship, or father to son, whereas from Gol's point of view, their relationship is more like master and slave. Sadre loves experiencing new worlds while pretending to be a part of them. Gol doesn't at first, but he later learns to, especially when he loses Sadre. In any case, it is quite common for Gol and Sadre to walk together exactly in the manner shown in the picture, having many a complex discussion about life, the universe, and everything, which would shock the elder Nocharen Sideas, if they ever found out that Gol could understand...

This is the short version of the background. It went on for far longer than I had intended. I don't even want to think about how long of a post this is. I really should have split it up, but which is more ridiculous? One long post in one day, or multiple short posts in the same day?

I really don't know.


Nobody Knows, it's Just a Phase

Don't worry. This intensely singleminded pursuit of one particular subject area will not last forever.

With that said...

December 26th is almost upon me, and with that, so is 100 Days, 100 Drawings, my upcoming competition with my friend M. Before then, I have a lot to finish if I want it ever to get done. I have three character sketch requests from NaNo people, and the first one is finished and up on dA. Still, I also have two digital pieces to refurbish, two pencil sketches going on, as well as the other two sketch requests.

The end result is that I have been drawing like mad, until I think I really have gone mad. A little.

Bottom right says "(very bad weeping angel)"

Just a little.


More Adventures in Drawing!

Well, I've been completely neglecting my writing, and this is why. A few sketches that weren't good enough to put up on dA...

Another manga head. I really have to work on the eyes. I just can never get them the same size and shape on both sides.

Just a head. It looks better in real life. For some reason the cross hatching shows up more than on the paper.

Robot woman. Again, looks better in real life. The shading is off in the digital copy. 

That's about it for now. I've got a digital painting in the works (another old piece which I'm finally going to finish), and a sketch on which I'm spending forever. I'll link to those when they're done. 

I think I should stop being lazy and just use the damn scanner...


Adventures in Drawing!

In preparation for 100 Days, 100 Drawings, I decided to experiment in a style that I have never used before: manga. Since I am not actually into manga and have never read any of the books...this was challenging.

Luckily, I cheated and read internet tutorials. ^_^

These are some of my sucky, sucky attempts. The shading is not me being clever. It's there to hide the fact that I can't do pretty line drawings even if you paid me. Sorry about the crappy quality. I am, as always, too lazy to bother with scanning stuff in, and instead I snap photos of the pictures with my phone.

Please ignore the eyes and facial features floating in the background. I invariably cram the space around my sketches with other sketches. =)

Oh, and this isn't manga at all, but I drew a rather nicer picture of Professor Snitpot than the previous one. That's a flaming sword and an Editor's Red Pen that he's holding, by the way. Again, my unquenchable desire to doodle has made the background rather trippy. Yes, that's a soggy-looking skull in the upper left.

Oh yes, and here's Madame Kiteroo terrorizing Eddie!


A Study in Insanity

*Sneaks in guiltily* All right, all right. I know I said I'd update during NaNo. I know this is horrendously late.

...I was too busy writing to write any blog posts!

As you may remember, my goal was to complete two novels, aiming for 50k on each one at least, for a total of 100k, and to have the first draft of each one DONE. To refresh your memory, these were:

1. The meta-story fantasy, which shall henceforth be referred to as Storyland, Novel 1, or NaNo11.
2. The SF about the cybernetic raven, which shall henceforth be referred to as Raven, or Novel 2.

To cut a long, meandering, rant-filled story short, I managed to win NaNo with Novel 1 at 50k, although the story is nowhere near complete. I am scrapping most of the words, although now I know with a lot more certainty what the plot will be.

Novel 2 tanked at 23k. Yes, I didn't even make it halfway. It got to the point where I just couldn't switch my attention between two novels, and I was behind on both. As Novel 1 was progressing faster, I decided to just focus on it.

Bottom line: I am never going to try and write two novels at the same time, in a month, again. That is, for a given value of never. Never say never, right? Who knows what heretofore unknown stimuli the future will hold? As far as I can see, however, from now on it'll be the good old fashioned aiming for 100k on just one story!

Oh, and on a completely unrelated writing note, some awesome person on the NaNo forums decided to create a drawing challenge similar to the NaNo ideal, for those who wanted to improve on their drawing. It's called 100 Days, 100 Drawings. The idea is that instead of spending forever working on one drawing that you never finish, you have to draw something new every day, and keep the momentum going. On the 101st day, you will redraw the thing that you did on the first day, and see if you improved.

My writing buddy M and I decided to do our own version together. The regular 100D2 was pretty much a  free-for-all, and the start date wasn't exactly convenient. M and I will be starting a little later, and we decided to have prompts, so we could compare what we each did. We have 80 prompts, where each of us came up with 40 of the ideas. We compiled the list, and then randomized it, and spaced the prompts out so that we'd do 4 prompts at a time, every 5th day being a 'free day,' for a total of 100 days. On day 101, we'll redraw what we did on Day 1. The challenge will start on December 26th, 2011, and end with Day 101 on April 4th, 2012. The first (and redrawn) prompt is, "Draw a detailed scene from your novel." That one would be comprehensive enough to cover all the little exercises like perspective, realism, proportions, etc.

So far I've been hosting images up on Dropbox, but for this particular challenge, I am getting an account at deviantArt and will post links up here as and when I get a chance.

Back to writing. I might have mentioned here that M and I are having a little weekly writing competition on the side. As it happens, it's hard to say who's winning, because we're both at different stages in the process. M is editing, whereas I'm still scribbling in every direction trying to finish Draft 1. Needless to say, while I have more word generating points, she completely kicked my butt to Pluto because she's completed her novel, so now I have no choice but to complete mine!


Those three dots signify the passage of time. In this case, it was about fifteen minutes. A lot of things can happen in fifteen minutes, including having a new insight into the depths of your own unpredictability. What I am about to tell you will show that the title of this post has practically been prophetic. Yes, I am undertaking new and exciting challenges during the coming year.

The following scenario has happened often enough that I can catalogue the exact states I go through, each and every time, so that from now on, all you have to do is just plug in the name of the appropriate challenge.

1. I browse the internet, and find a reference to [Over the top Writing Challenge, henceforth referred to as Challenge].
Me: "What's this?" *click* "Mind. Blown. This is nuts. Insane! I would never do anything this crazy!"
2. A few weeks/months pass. Now that I know what [Challenge] is, I find references to [Challenge] on the NaNo site and learn more.
Me: "Intriguing. Everyone who is doing this has my respect, but they are all stark raving mad. I would never do this."
3. A few weeks/months pass. Someone I know (relative, friend, whoever) tells me, I am doing [Challenge!]
Me: "You are certifiably insane. Congratulations. I would never do that in a million years."
4. Ten minutes later:
Me: "...Well, if they can do it..."
Another minute later:
Me: "...It would greatly enhance my productivity."
Another minute later:
"...The worst I can do is fail."
One minute later: "Account created!"
5. I write a blog post explaining why the new insane [Challenge] is not, in fact, insane, and why I absolutely must do it, and why I just can't wait for [Challenge] to start!

So, what have I gotten myself into this time?

Milwordy, in a word. Or, should I say, a million? The object of the challenge is to write a million words in a year. I will start on January 1st, 2012. Ha, and that's a leap year, so there's an extra day of writing! It works out to approximately 2800 words per day.

I know your brains are exploding. Before you tell me that I have really lost it this time, let me just say...I am not exactly aiming at a million words. That would undoubtedly be awesome, but also, given my track record, unrealistic. What I really want is just the structure, and the daily word count goal, and the sense of community that wrimos give, for the short term. Wrimos are awesome in that way, but the fact remains that they are just too short for me. At the end of a month, I have yet another half-finished draft that I toss on the virtual compost heap and almost never touch again. It's the length of the challenge that I like.

I. will. write. every. day.

Everything counts. Novels, short stories, whatever. This will give me a chance to explore some of the ideas that I left by the roadside the last year or so, and to try some new genres. My goals are simple. I just want to finish something I start. To that end, I wish to have a completed first draft of Novel 1 by the end of March 2012, and the whole thing edited and finished by my 25th birthday, in September.

I will probably only hit 250k, or maybe even 500k, if I do a NaNo-level word count daily, but even that is worth it.

I really cannot allow myself to think of myself as a writer until I can admit that I have actually written a book.

I will conquer the unfinished draft.


A Terrible, Horrible, Splotch

This is it, people: the worst inkblot on the face of the planet. Jason and Destiny don't really look like that, and neither would Jason let Destiny dangle helplessly as he flies to save the world like superman. Moreover, the ground is not imprinted with badly erased outlines of various Storyland characters. It is also all too obvious that I got a little too enthusiastic using my water-soluble graphite pencils!

Glorious, glorious suckage. :-D

Bring it, Rorschach.


Belated, Beloved, Besotted, Besplattered.

Point 1. Only the first word of the title is actually relevant to this post. The rest are just there for alliterative purposes. But on that head, here's what's been going on these past few weeks:

Plot outlining continues. You'd think I'd be done by now, but I hit Plotter's Block for most of the time. I'm trying now to figure out what the conflicts are for each character. Just the sheer pandemonium that will break out as they all step on each others' feet to get what they want should create some sort of plot.

Point 2. I know I said I'd put up sketches. I had created a few more sketches of characters to put up here, but they turned out to be dismal. Who knows when I'll do more?

Point 3. Randomly, I decided that I am going to up the ante on the NaNo challenge. One, I will not allow myself to count deleted words, or to write endless 7k word scenes. Each 2k (approximately) must move the plot forward. The point is to have a finished story at the end, and not just an endless beginning. Two, I am going to do two NaNos! That's right, I'm aiming for 100k of completed story goodness! For NaNo 1, under bobo_the_bard, I am doing Storyland. For NaNo 2, under Agent Double Oh Zero, I am doing a science fiction story about a cybernetic raven who is enslaved by time-traveling aliens and who, during his travels, learns to question the meaning of true freedom.

All this, and I'm supposed to be working on my thesis as well. I am arguably insane. But madness adds a strange spice to life, doesn't it? That's what writing is. You shut yourself up, you face parts of yourself you would rather not face in order to evoke tragedy or comedy, you drive yourself insane listening to the voices in your head as they tell your what they want, and you turn yourself into the only socially acceptable form of schizophrenic, and thus you learn how ordinary people work. You can never truly appreciate the symmetry of a sane world without taking a walk on the other side of the mind.


Signs of Activity on the Creative Front

This is unprecedented! Two posts in the same day, let alone the same month!

I just couldn't wait, however. I had to scratch the itch I've been feeling for the past week. I'm holding in my hand, hot off the printer, the 81 pages that constitute the 32162 words (Scrivener count) of the 0th draft of But That Wasn't In The Book! Yes, I know I hit 50k for August Camp, but I am only including the words I did not throw out immediately.

An update on the previous post:

I am not so sure whether I will entirely cut Destiny as a main character. She has a lot more potential now that she and Margaretta are the same person. I might just give her some POV scenes, once I know which ones from the draft I will keep.

Eddie the Reaper, too, has an interesting backstory. Apparently he's suicidal because once he made some sort of a crazed deal with an unknown man who was possibly drunk, and who didn't want to die. Blah de blah, the whole gambling with the reaper thing happened, and the man sold his soul to Eddie to live. Eddie, however, didn't know what to do with it. He kept the soul as a pet, and it grew on him, and eventually became him. Unfortunately, Eddie, being a Reaper, was not meant to have any sort of soul, because his job was simply to take lives, not to have one of his own. Eddie tried many ways to fit into society (drinking, being a warrior, and even trying to be an Author in his own right), but nothing worked out. Eddie had a personality, with nowhere to put it.

That's why he wants to die more than anything else.

Unfortunately, even if he chops his skull off, he gets summoned back to life to reap his soul. The only way he can die is if he gets rid of his soul somehow, possibly by tracking down someone who can reap his soul (another Reaper, or the Narrator), or by giving back the soul to the guy who had it originally. However, then there is the chance that Eddie will turn back into what he once was, and that he'll no longer want to die...

Now, hopefully my aunt is still awake, so I can retrieve all my colored pens from my room before she sleeps. I can't edit without colored pens!

All Quiet on the Creative Front. Again.

I am not a professional artist. I am a blunderer with a stylus. I balk at the thought of doing another drawing, knowing all the effort it will entail, knowing that I will erase 90% of the marks I throw on the "paper," as I blindly try to get proportion and shape right through sheer trial and error. I am throwing around ideas in my head for drawing Eddie the Reaper next, but who knows when they'll come to fruition?

Otherwise, I am still on my enforced writing break, but I have finally decided when I am going to end it. On September 24th, my birthday present to myself will be a new plotting frenzy!

Regarding said plot, there will be changes.

I am refocusing the story around Jason as the primary MC, because he's a hell of a lot more interesting. Destiny has a few key things happen to her which need to be explained, but she spends most of the time being a Mary Sue and having nothing happen to her. She might get a few interludes, though, but I don't think she will be the MC any longer. However, I am going to combine her with Margaretta, since those two are really very similar characters. When that happens, we shall see some interesting character development going on, because Margaretta can be a really nasty person sometimes.

[SPOILER WARNING: Skip this section if you don't want them!]
I had intended for Jason to hook up with Destiny at the end, and for Margaretta to hook up with the Narrator. Now that the two females are the same person, the whole pairing thing is now all up in the air. It looks like it's turning into one of those 'FMC battles herself, and she'll end up with "good" MSC if she chooses good, and she'll end up with the "evil" MSC if she chooses the dark side...' although I'd like to make it not quite so cut-and-dried.

Destiny now has the equivalent of multiple personality disorder. Part of her is a nice sweet normal heroine, and part of her is a nasty cunning hag of an evil stepmother, part of her is a Mary Sue, part of her is Snow White, and part of her is Sleeping Beauty. Poor Destiny. It looks like she's going to spend a lot of time asleep as various political entities seek to bewitch her with apples, spinning wheels, potions, evil stepmother viruses, etc.

Whew. I've got a lot on my plate for the 24th.


Most Picturesque Success

I haven't done any writing at all, but I do have an excuse: my iPad stylus finally arrived! This is great! Drawing with my fingers had the drawback that anything I draw looks like I drew it with my fingers. My life is so much easier now that I have the Bamboo!
Here is my first attempt at breaking it in. Click the thumbnail to view it full size.

That's Destiny, the MC of But That Wasn't in the Book! Destiny is wearing one of her Questing outfits. Unfortunately, this is one of the ones I let her put together herself.
The shirt was cannibalized from one of her Damsel In Distress dresses, and the cloak once belonged to Jason. Destiny "borrowed" it when she was younger, because it was so soft. Jason himself has long given up hope of ever getting it back.
Destiny is holding the Mighty Red Pen of the Editors, although it writes in any color. It glows in the presence of Mary Sues, incorrect use of semicolons, passive voice, plot holes, adverbs..and....well, anything that needs to be edited. :-)
Presumably she's standing in a dark cave where she is about to get abducted by a bunch of knee-high dwarves. I left that out because I suck at drawing backgrounds and the details would have taken me yet another week.
I had meant to do Jason too, but Destiny alone took me three days to do. I'm not very good at this. More sketches will be up as soon as I do them!


Victory Snatched From the Jaws of Responsibility!

Well, I did it. I won Camp NaNo with 53k words. Call it Draft 0. It's more like a huge Plot Hole with a few scenes scattered around than it is an actual coherent story, but it's a start. I actually finished an entire week early (after starting a few days late!), and I wanted to spend the week plotting out the rest of it. My goal was to have a complete plan done, so I could write 'the end' and then take a long writing break to refresh myself for November.

That didn't happen.

I got stuck on where to go with the story arc for two of the three plot threads, and spent the last three or four days dithering and staring at the giant piece of newsprint where I started plotting. Things picked up again yesterday, though, when a couple of ideas dropped into my head. I think as things stand now, I'm going to have to pants through a few scenes and see where the story wants to go before I hogtie it.

All right, this is where I hand out cookies.

Thank you people on the NaNoWriMo forums. I could never have written so many words without the help of this awesome community. Thank you Camp cabin-mates. The cheers and s'mores were priceless as we raced across the finish line together and propped up our flagging enthusiasm with stolen flagpoles. And last but not least, thanks to my writing buddy M. This story would never have developed this far without all your intensive questions on how my plot works. Now I know that when I take Storyland apart, I can put it back together again without breaking anything. :-)

In other news, I must again thank M for giving me the Liebster Award on her blog!

The way it works is that someone gives you the award, and then you're supposed to pass it on to your five favorite blogs that have less than 200 followers, and let them know that you gave it to them. It's a way of spreading some bloggy love to awesome people who don't have many readers!

Right now I have two blogs I can forward this to...so here you go!

I still have three virtual blogs left to award, and I will do so here as and when they come up. 

Who knows?


Guilt and Mug Shots

All right, to be frank, I forgot I had a blog. But currently, I am at a "comfortable" 35k, which is several days ahead of schedule, and I am actively engaged in procrastinating on writing! 

I spent the time trying to draw my characters, and failing miserably. They were crap.

But I did do a few sketches of Professor Snitpot, the headmaster of the Gentlemen's Academy, where all the Heroes learn to fight dragons and save damsels in distress without setting them on fire. Here are a few of them that weren't execrable. Unfortunately these are crappy quality, because I sketched them by hand all over a giant sheet of paper, and I was too lazy to cut them out and scan them. I just took abysmal photos of them with my iPad in bad lighting.

Professor Snitpot

Yes, did I mention that Professor Snitpot is a very aggressive two-foot tall penguin who can do some mean damage with a sword? I didn't color this, having come to grief on several previous attempts when I tried to do Snitpot in Sharpie...but he has yellow glasses, blue eyes, a golden yellow throat, and a dark brown combover.

Baby Snitpot!
 This has absolutely nothing to do with the story, but I had to try drawing a baby penguin. I know this isn't actually what baby penguins look like. I sacrificed accuracy in the name of humor a long time ago.

It was very late at night, and pig-guin sounded too much like penguin for me not to try to draw one. This is not one of my characters, which is presumably why he looks so miserable, and not because he is a pig grafted with a penguin.

Professor Snitpot riding a plot bunny to battle against the Ineffable Wizard.
He is carrying a sword and a torch, in case you can't tell. I can't draw bunnies and I can't draw castles and I can't draw mountains and I can't draw cliffs.

Drawings of my other characters are forthcoming...once I figure out how to draw people that aren't lumpy.  =/


Why Am I Still Awake?

I tell you what, the last thing I wanted to do was to go see a movie. It completely threw me off my groove, just when I was getting into it. Ah, well, there is tomorrow.


Ah, right. I forgot about that.

(.....but there's a huge sale on.........)


This whole blog is seriously turning into A List of Excuses As To Why Agent Double Oh Zero/bobo_the_bard can't write.

Better than "The Nocharen Sideas ate my homework," I suppose.


I Am Getting Sleepy...

So today was the "big presentation" which was supposed to be the last of its kind. I was supposed to be done with this project forever with a big fat period after it.

Then the thing crashed a couple of times while presenting, and we discovered a number of small issues that would need to be fixed. So guess who gets to spend more time working on this damn thing while time leeches away the last few precious golden days of summer?

That's right! Me! Hip-hip-hu-bloody-rray!

Now is the time to insert a mournful soliloquy on how this is just my luck, and how something always comes up just when I think I am in the clear, and about how life in general sucks.

I can't muster the doleful pessimism.

Seriously, folks, I have been looking forward to August 4th for too long. Too long has my WriMo been taken from me by the machinations of Responsibility. Well, I stayed up late yet again today, when I had the opportunity to simply crash in my bed early, and finished up everything that was in my power to do. This will be the third or fourth day in a row that I will have been up until about 4 in the morning. I was so cracked out on lack of sleep yesterday that for a second I seriously thought that "cheese Ray" was a real word.

And by Ray, I mean...proper noun NAME Ray.  cheese Ray. Hmm.

So basically, everything else...is on the other guys. I have my coffee ready, I have a daily word war partner lined up (and we have already begun the traditional international pre-war ritual of yelling various forms of "my plot bunny is faster than yours!" at each other). Bottom line: I am damn well going to start writing tomorrow.


Anticipation And Various And Sundry Matters of Conscience

On the writing front...I realize it's August 3rd already, and I have written nothing, but it just won't work. Today is my final day of summer classes, and the big presentation is this evening. I will not be able to relax until this is over because of last-minute guilt.

August 4th, it begins. I mean business.

Other than that, I am rather cheesed (more on this delicious delicacy later). I had three completely epic, vivid dreams this past week. They were wonderful story material.

They were also the kind where you wake up having absolutely no clue what they were.


I am usually pretty diligent about writing things down just before, in the middle of, or just after sleeping, having had long experience of having an awesome dream and waiting too long and losing the first few moments of growing awareness between the road of sleep and dawn, where it was all just there in my mind, and I still felt the emotional impact but was coherent enough to write it down. Those dreams played fair. These guys, however, walked out before I had a chance to vacuum them up into my collection! They are such sillies!

On the other writing front (yes, I have more than one), I really should get back to finishing up yet another draft of my 100 word story. That one's gotten rather neglected. I'd tell you what it's about, except it would probably take up more words than the story itself.

All right. I gotta hang in there. Ugh.


An Old Madness Hath Taken Hold Of Me, Part II

I had to split this entry up, or risk a non sequitur so heinous that the harsh discontinuity between the adjacent units of prose would have been severe enough to throw a boot in the proverbial gears of the universe. The resulting thunderclap (smelling of pink) would subsequently have completely erased the existence of the letter 'e' from every alphabet, everywhere.


Until I realized my mistake and corrected it, of course, but who knows how long that would have takn? Luckily it wasn't so! That would have bin horribl in-dead.

A Siris of Mini-Updaits:

1. I just got a huge box full of books! I rearranged my bookshelf to fit them and it is now epic! I have a lot of reading to do! Heaven!
2. The renovations are done, and my workspace is beautiful! And I am no longer living out of the living room!
2. I am thankful for there being two sessions of Camp NaNoWriMo. Hopefully August will be nicer to me than July. That whole experience (see Part 1), coupled with my luck for any wrimo/month challenge I attempted after NaNo10, has left me paranoid, and I dread something else happening to prevent me from winning this time.

Oh, please let this work!

An Old Madness Hath Taken Hold Of Me, Part I

Oh, goodness. It's been a while. Homework ate my life. It's still got two more days to devour until summer class ends, but whatever. I am updating my blog right now.

The whole Camp Nano/JulNo thing was a bust. I did a 5k marathon of words on the first day, and then after that...nothing. I had homework out the stinky, dripping wazoo* and this had to take precedence over all else. It can be argued that where there's a way there's a will, and that the persistent mind can always find time to write.

But Guilt is a harsh mistress.

Not even the harshest self-critical rantings and self-esteem-leeching nitpickings and brain-whippings of the most tyrannical Inner Editor can reduce you to a pile of soggy, cringing, whining emotional pulp as quickly or as effectively as a single glance of Guilt can, and not even the wildest wiles, or the most exhilarating inspiration of the Muse can build you up again. That is not to say that the justice of Guilt is not tempered with mercy, for she acknowledges the need to wind down and take breaks once in a while. She fosters productivity, not panic attacks, and she certainly withdrew herself to allow me leisure to read books, and to watch TV, and to eat unhealthily sugary things. But the sheer amount of work I had left to do, and the importance of it, precluded the option of me putting it off to write. As Guilt so aptly pointed out, if I had the energy to write, then I had the energy to code.

Then she merely flicked her little finger, and slashed me with her whip (it's made of deadlines) until I bled in binary.***

I can't blame Guilt. She was just doing her job, as was I.

I blame this on July. I thought I knew you. I thought you were my friend, July. You have ever been true and faithful to me, and I knew not the betrayal lurking on the horizon. I was looking forward to our time alone together, in the heat and lazy haze of summer. It seems this was not to be, for you turned out to be a backstabbing blackhearted anthropomorphosized chronological entity, sapping the joy of the season with your fluorescent sponge of academia and mental anguish.

July, my cursed love, I lay thee to rest, and hope that the future may one day bring summer again for us.

*Shurmann's Dictionary of Infinite Verse defines this as a small fruit of uncertain origin, after it's been rotting in the fridge for a while**

**Shurmann's Dictionary exists in the nonexistential plane. It's just like Earth, except that written words smell strangely purple, and they tend to read you back.

***Not literally, but that would be pretty cool.


I'm a nut. And loving it!

At the very last moment, I decided to do Camp Nano as well! It's July 1st, and I still have no idea what I'm going to work on. I won't do anything new, since I have too many ideas on hiatus.

  • Harry Potter fanfiction
  • The Amber of Time (previously The Amber Node) This one has several storylines, any of which I could choose for Camp NaNo. 
  • Fireline (working title) - The old idea I was working on in high school. :-)
  • Scroungers: Earth (working title) - The one about the girl who lives on a post-apocalyptic Earth who is forcibly deported off-planet among other survivors, and who struggles to adjust to a new society. I've been sitting on this one since sixth grade. :-)
I think I must be stark raving mad.

Speaking of which, it's July 1st, and my word count is still at a big fat zero! Must get writing! 


I can't get enough of these things. I must be insane.

In two days, JulNoWriMo begins. Currently, I have a school project going on (and on...and on...), much carpet ripping, painting, caulking, etc. to do, and a ten-day limited-computer-use NUISANCE (in the middle of July!) in the works. I haven't won a single writing challenge since NaNoWriMo'10. I might be biting off more than I can chew...again.

One thing that's keeping me going is the fact that I roped my sister and cousin into doing it with me. They've agreed. Now I just have to remind them. It's all too likely they've forgotten. :-)

I found some more old pictures on my hard drive, which I plan on putting up here. However, my computer is currently unplugged and camping out on the floor of my sister's room, while my own room is undergoing metamorphosis. So no pictures for a while until it's back on my desk (which, I should say, is clogging up half the living room).

Right. Off to brainstorm for JulNo. That was a lie. I'm really procrastinating.


Change is Turmoil: This is my emo moment.

An empty bookshelf is like a skull. Everything that gave it life has been stripped away. The shelves gape like empty eye sockets. It is the saddest thing in the world.

On the writing front:

As soon as I said I'd hold auctions for the MCs for my JulNo, I suddenly realized I knew already. Go figure! The winners: Jason and Destiny! As for the others, no one loses. Mary Sue and Barin will have secondary roles, Gavrel (now Gareth) and Slythin have moved to another idea, and everyone else will be...recycled. Not as scary as it sounds.

I had meant to put up sketches of my MCs with this post, but this is proving to be a very complicated matter, largely based on the fact that I'm not a very good artist. I have no sense of proportion, I can't shade, FORGET coloring, I suck at arms and hands, I'm terrible with faces, and I just can't draw men period. (Sorry Jason. I will give you a nice face as soon as I can, I promise.) Usually I just avoid these problems by sticking to women, drawing them with their hands behind their back, and going for a more cartoony approach.

So given all this, why do I even bother? I don't know...I guess I just live for that one accidental moment when I get it right.

I had a small triumph of sorts today when I tried drawing Destiny's face and halfway through I realized it was a completely different character (call her R). I went ahead and finished drawing R's head, and the resemblance is close enough for me to be happy about it. :-D

A dilemma denied:

Any of the following three things will make me write.

  1. General Feedback 
  2. Someone anticipating reading more 
  3. Competition. 
The NaNo rush provides fuel aplenty, but devoid of these three things the rest of the year, it is all too easy for me to slack. But I now have the solution! During the course of NaNo I made a couple of awesome NaNo friends with whom I correspond via email/chat. I was talking to T the other day about our mutual lack of any completed works whatsoever, and it evolved from there. We decided to bludgeon each other into productivity! We've kept it pretty simple. The goal is to write 5000 words per week, with points for each word written/edited so we can compare stats. The idea is that we will continue this indefinitely, until we start churning out completed short stories/novels/whatever. The writing gears must keep turning!

On a last note:

I've been going through my old files, and finding a lot of stuff I drew a long time ago. To atone for my lack of illustrations, I will now leave you with this comic I found! Considering what time it is and what's been going on lately, it sums up my mental state very well.


Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

I shall gather my resources and try again. This time I will win.

The madness begins again on July 1st. For real, this time. Summer. No finals. No work. No interference.

So I won't really re-hash my JulNo idea much here, since (unusually) I've told everybody but the kitchen sink, and that's because it hasn't got ears. (Got quite a mouth on it though! It won't shut up about its mother in law! And it tends to go nom nom nom in the middle of the night while it eats our forks. Comfort food to stave off the depression, apparently.)

The gist (for those who live in a box):

Storyland is a magical place where stories are built, and it is ruled by the great and wise Narrator, who ensures that all characters have their place, that all plot holes are closed, and that all stories end appropriately. Then the evil Ineffable Wizard, who wants all the stories for  himself, kidnaps the Narrator and imprisons him. Chaos reigns. The Ineffable Wizard destroys existing stories, enslaving all the characters for his own personal epic. It is up to the MCs to go on a quest to find the Magical Maguffin, an object that will help them to free the Narrator, and restore order to Storyland. 

Which brings me to my next point. Usually I start with a character and build a plot for them. This time I have no idea who my main characters are. Awkward. So I will be holding auditions for the role!

Epic quest! Fun! Danger! Adventure! Magic! Deadly enemies! Small hope of success! Huge likelihood of painful tortuous death! A chance to get the girl!


  • Jason - A magic flying boy who is allergic to gravity.
  • Destiny - A damsel in distress in training whose destiny it is to face her destiny. 
  • Barin - A shy young secretary who's lived in the shadow of his heroic brother Garin all his life.
  • Slythin Brenyssen - The most clever con man ever. He's such a good con man that even he doesn't know he's a con man. *wink* *grin with flashing teeth* 
  • Metonema Necrostophyte - a deadly assassin who can kill with a paintbrush. Possibly telepathic.
  • Gavrel Urthhart - A young farm boy who has no clue what's about to hit him.
  • Mary Sue - A hopelessly perfect multi-talented incarnation of the author who has a disturbing tendency to have a personality.
  • Horus Whyten - An artist who has the gift of making everything in his art come true. 

So that's that for now. I will post a cover or banner as soon as I finish making it.


BORGoooooooosh! Or, A Change of Pace

So, Screnzy is over. The final score? 16 pages / 100 goal.



In any case, my play, which was supposed to be an emotional tense drama, has snowballed into a cheeseball time-traveling comedic farce. I hit my all-time low whenI banged out the last four pages at two in the morning; I named one of the characters Shaneeequa and my bad guy has a creepy teddy bear whose face keeps changing in every scene.

Other than that, summer has started and I am chilling. My break is still ON! No worries or woes or guilt.

So I have decided that as an exercise in writing, I am going to try for conciseness, because my blog posts are rambling picture-less behemoths.

Um, yes. So I guess I've failed at that in this one. :-P

Except for the picture-less bit. Here's a quick sketch I did of Luke, the main character of my Screnzy. I have no idea what Luke looks like, but I know this looks nothing like him.

Er...yes. I know it's the back of his head. It was supposed to go on a banner, where he's gazing off into the distance in a pool of darkness, but I didn't finish it before Screnzy ended.



This is a new doomed quest.

So, for those of you who don't know, I will be embarking on a new quest in about a week two days ONE DAY -3 days -16 days. (This is evidence of how easily I forget to update my blog.)

[EDIT: This is inexcusable. Started Screnzy and this blog post has been sitting in my drafts for almost a month. My only excuse? Job and Finals. And both of those should mostly within the next week. Yay!]

If you saw me last November, you might remember that there was a certain air of...neurotic manic craziness about me, as I tried to cram writing 50k words of a novel into one month. It was a breath-taking, exhilarating, and utterly terrifying experience, and come December I had a winner's certificate, the germ of an idea, thousands of now-irrelevant words which I pitched into the trash as soon as possible, and also a rekindled desire to inflict the ravings of my mind upon the masses. And those who live in the same house as me were glad to have me back among the ranks of the sociable, who would no longer bite their heads off if they talked to me while I was writing.

Well, the madness and social withdrawal begins again on April 1st.

Event: Script Frenzy
When: April 1st - 30th
Goal: Write 100 pages of a play, screenplay, TV script, or graphic novel.

Insanity? Not quite. But add in the fact that April is my finals month? A resounding YES! I am officially stark raving mad! But it's better that way. :-)

So for my script I am going to do a movie screenplay. I actually had this idea for a novel, but for a prolonged lack of a Screnzy idea, I decided to do a screenplay since I always wonder what the movie versions of my ideas would look like anyway.

It's going to be about a spirit who turns himself human in order to be with the woman he loves. But when she betrays him, he's stuck on Earth

It's about a Time Agent named Luke who gives up his reality-altering powers and becomes fully human in order to stay with the woman he loves. But when she betrays him, he's stuck on Earth, utterly alone and powerless. Add to that the fact that his arch-enemy, a member of a Separatist Cell made up of Time Agents gone rogue, who was supposed to be locked up, is now loose, and is bent on erasing the current reality and replacing it with one where the Agency doesn't exist. Can our beloved main character reconcile himself to a life on Earth, and save the world at the same time?

The Frenzy begins in two days. It began half a month ago.

Current: 6 pages
Should Be: 56 pages

So I have just a little bit of work to do. (^_^)

I am sorry for the rather A.D.D. nature of this post. Things tend to get screwy when you delay so long that the tense of your context changes. =P

Ahh, I can't even read over this again. It's too painful and disjointed. *Post*



Oh my god. I just found this.

It's the picture I drew of Razzmatazz, the ass-kicking homeless hippie hobo elf!

And now, as he'd say, Catcha later, groovy lady! *wink*

Ambition is a Corpse.

Precisely so.

I haven't really written anything in forever. This is good.

Enough of that. This blog was supposed to be about my whole life, not just about my literary endeavors. So, Life, what's going on with you?

Life *reading off a notepad*: You're about to bake a cake, hopefully, and you haven't practiced guitar in two days, before which you practiced for two days, before which you didn't touch it for a week, before which you were going strong for a month.

(Why does my Life speak with a high-pitched British accent?)

Me: That's it?

Life: Yes.

Me: Screw this. Back to the activities on the writing front!

Writing Front: *cricketcricketcricketcricketcricketcricketcricketcricketcricket*

Oh, bugger.


Magic Babies Are SO Overdone!

This is the blog post that really should have been a comment, but which is long enough that it's too long to be a comment. And I still would have made it a comment, except that when I got to the bit with the title in it, I simply could not resist writing a post with that title.


I see the point a certain plot-ranting reader was trying to make. But regardless of what I write, I still have the problem of ending up with too many words, whether it's a prologue or not because I think of the interesting plot points/character lines/scenes, I write them, and then I dig myself into a hole as I try to fill in the bits in between.

And speaking of prologues, they don't always have to be 'mysterious' or 'vague.' Actually, I feel that the point of a prologue is to include a relevant piece of story that is essential for plot/understanding purposes, but which for some reason doesn't fit in with the rest of it, either in terms of point of view, or chronologically, like if it took place in the past or future. And I think that if there's really nothing that fits into that category, then you don't need a prologue. Far too many people put in a vague prologue because they think they should have one, rather than put one in because they have an important bit that doesn't fit.

Magic babies are so overdone!

As for the overly dramatic he just did WHAT!? scenes, they are one of the reasons I end up with too much junk going on in the first place. I know personally (mainly from the lack of suitable reaction evinced by my poor sister upon the perusal of a series of execrably scribed "dramatic" scenes that I inflicted upon her, whihc served to confuse rather than excite) that I, as the author, will see the full shocking implication of what the character just did. But to someone who can't see into their head like I can, things happening out of the blue will tend to annoy rather than intrigue because they don't know why they're supposed to get all . That's why I try to spend some time leading up to the action so it will make sense, rather than just having it come at the reader out of the blue.

Easier said than done.

In fact, what this results in is a series of little scenes where I can see how to let the reader know some of the character's motivations, and their current situation, by blending them with action. Except the tricky bits come in when I try to link them together. That's how I write: I write the good bits that I can think of, then I fill in the gaps between. That's really why one scene ends up so long, because when I try to transition from one thing to another everything just blows up around me. Dialogue gets long-winded, as I try to direct conversation from one topic to another while revealing necessary information. One scene turns into a long string of little confrontations and adventures, as I make references to previous scenes that I then have to explain.

That's what happened with this one character...without revealing any specific details, she's an emotionless b!tch who does something horrible, something that not even she is insensitive to, and she finally has to deal with the full trauma and consequences of her act and has to re-learn how to feel emotion and empathize with the pain of others. I was going to start off with the horrible act, but it wouldn't seem so horrible...rather, it would seem corny...if you didn't know what kind of person she was. And it just went from there. 

'Nuff said. Basically...it's one big tangle. :-D


=( (= (Textual rendition of creepy grinning/weeping masks)

All right bloggie-poo, I realize I have been somewhat neglecting you. I will now minister to your vanity by updating you, although the further inflation of your fatheadedness will be somewhat tempered by the realization that I am only doing this to procrastinate on writing a paper for my music class.

How's that for a sadistic passive-agressive no-more Mr. Nice Guy quarter on a string screw you vending machine blow to the self-esteem?

No, I'm not angry. I'm pretty okay right now...just winding down after a day of work. They finally gave me something to do! This is good. The bad bit is, I am not at all familiar with the development environment, so I don't know how to figure out what I don't know. But I'm getting there, so hopefully that will resolve itself.

Oh, depravity. I have stooped to using Internet Explorer because I have two gmail accounts open at the same time, so if I stick to Firefox I can't edit this blog at the same time as checking my other email address. Ah, peste.

Meanwhile, I am not naming any names, but someone I am thinkig of right now needs to update her blog. You will know who you are, because the minute I write these words you will, for seemingly no reason whatsoever, think of a purple hippo with the word 'DESULTORY' painted in huge pink letters on her stomach. That is my telepathic mind-modifiying awesomeness in effect.

So. Lastly, a quick update on the writing front:

[insert snarky picture of tired animal making sardonic/sarcastic face]

I am on break. That's it. I am clearing my head before I start re-planning the dregs of what was once NaNo10. It has exploded in my face and I feel like I am making no progress even though I suppose I am. Curse my verbosity! That's why it takes me 3000 words (approximately ten pages, for my non-obsessively "page-from-word-count"ing friends) to write what was originally supposed to be a single to two or three page prologue. Now imagine what my pen/fingers do to a whole chapter. Yes. I have a deplorable habit of going off on thought or dialogue tangents, in order to explore an interesting idea.

I lied.

That is technically true, but if it was so easily defined I could just catch it right there, write it down for later, and continue writing. The truth is, I start from a single-sentence outline of a scene, and I start writing it, but then I find out that in order for the reader to understand what just happened, they have to know the context around it. Then I spend time writing the context (not simply exposition, but things that actually happen). Sometimes even the context spawns context. The end result is that I find that my initial scene was really somewhere in the middle. But then the problem is that I now have a whole bunch more of the beginning to write, plus I now have the rest of the original middle, and the end to write, and the new stuff disrupts the flow of the old stuff, because the original inception of the plot, the pivotal beginning event, must wait on some beginning scenes, which completely throws off the flow.

Dilemma: to write relevant beginning scenes, and completely replan the book, or jump right in, but no one understands why this is so important because knows what is going on?



Evil Laugh and General Amusement

Oh, I am good. 

I just realized that Harry Potter resolves the inherent paradox that arises when trying to unify general relativity and quantum mechanics. It's called magic. Basically it works by reproducing the crazy junk that goes on at the quantum level on a macroscopic scale, thus successfully using both theories. Further examination of the workings of this phenomenon can provide us with the final theory of everything!

Avada Kedavra.


Read The Title To Understand the Significance of the Title.

There. With a bit of simple logical wordplay, I have obliterated the indecision and anxiety which plagued me upon seeing an empty box gazing at me with its blank lidless stare of guilt until I thought of a title that wasn't "Aaargh" or "Meh" and which also had something to do with the content of this post. I have now foiled this beast from hell which tried to unnerve me with its Sphinx-like implacability, by managing to write down a meaningful title that actually conveys nothing at all.

I am afraid this post will be a long and vague one, and about as diary-like (OMG!!! SQUEEEEE DAVID TENNANT!!! [1]) as my mind-splurges ever get. I will by turns be unashamedly brazen and arrogant, puffing off my self-worth by proclaiming it to the Internets, and whip-lashingly sensitive and vulnerable. Oh, joy. If this prospect fills you with terror (as it should), run away. Now.

My delicate emotional state is best summarized by a storm in a teacup. I don't even know what this expression means (at least, not yet. The Google will be hearing from me shortly), but the image thereby conjured up best summarizes the fluctuating fireworks show of electrical nerve impulses that plague the synapses of my centralized ganglia.

I am right on the borderline between whooping and hollering for joy and screaming and b!tching at everyone I meet. And to those who think that this averages out into general ambivalence or pessimistic apathy, you are wrong. It means, with the simultaneity paradox characteristic of the non-serial nature of human emotional definitions, that I am feeling both at the same time, and the resulting tension of conflicting streams of emotion is creating a feedback loop which forces me to think over the various things that have happened to me this week thereby intensifying the various emotional states which aforementioned events eventuated in me, thereby increasing the strength of the emotional feedback loop.

In order to eradicate any personal bias, and to preserve the impartiality necessary to psychoanalyze myself, it must be noted that my happiness level just increased infinitesimally when I wrote down that last sentence.

I can't do anything about it now, of course, because I am at work. But something, somewhere very far away, is exploding. The probability of an explosion of any type occurring in a given location is rare, but sum up the probability of an explosion happening ever, and you get a lot of things exploding. Broaden the given definition of now from the smallest possible division of time (planck-second) to something in human range...say, give or take two minutes before/after making this statement, so then whether by alien machinations, or the products of human technological development, it is almost certain that something somewhere is exploding, perhaps by unlikely spontaneous combustion or someone is doing fireworks, lighting gasoline, or, what is a lot more likely, the Mythbusters are blowing up a car...again [2]. Filtering out the issue of determining simultaneity in order to determine now-ness (thus mentally achieving the impossible by putting a star on it and ignoring it), my argument holds water like a blob of orange juice in space sucked out through a straw! Don't fail me, probability. So it is technically true that though I am at work and can't do anything, something somewhere is probably exploding. Well, I never said they had to be related events, did I? Correlation does not imply causation, so if you see me standing looking innocent by a ball of fire and ash that smells like kerosene, and I am quickly shoving matches into my pocket, this means you can't prove anything. [3]

So. The reasons for this ridiculous rambling (and, I think, utterly awesome awesomeness):

  • Rdio, I am utterly and completely in love with you. And even though I am still on my free trial period, I think it is just so great how I can listen to almost anything I want over the Internets for just $10 a month without having to decide whether to commit to buying an album that I might not like. Now I need have no compunctions about going ahead and listening to that interesting-sounding group who sounds similar to another group. I knew from the moment I met you that we had something special. You had me at "offline mobile syncing."
  • I got an internship. This is good. I will lose a large chunk of free time, and the ability to sleep in however late I want. This is a travesty. But the pay makes it just a little bit more worthwhile. Oh, and the job experience. :-D
  • I am concerned that I will no longer be able to keep up with my musical instrument practice and writing. Le Sigh.

 I haven't written for a while. I know I didn't do so yesterday. So to round off today's entry, here is a short mini-excerpt. (Again, DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fanfiction written purely for amusement. I am not making any money on this. Copyright on all Harry Potter characters (except Denga and Bode Righteous) and the world, etc. belongs to J.K. Rowling. Thanks for letting me borrow them, J.K.R., they're a barrel of laughs!)

Hedwig rolled her eyes. She recognized that dopey look. It meant that Harry was going to ask her something embarrassing.

“Go ahead,” she said, wearily, and muttered under her breath. You whiny little twerp. If you didn’t have the unlikely gift of preparing candied baby mice exactly as I like them, with cotton candy chocolate sprinkles studded in their soft little tiny pink eyes, I’d ditch your worthless carcass faster than Severus Snape confronted with a bubble bath.

Harry’s head swam. Hedwig’s voice was fading into her usual toots and whoos.

“Hedwig,” said Harry, carefully, albeit a bit thickly, for even with his senses disordered, a small part of him that remained sane (namely, his sense of self-preservation) told him to tread warily. “Hedwig…you’re a girl. Why do you sound like a man? Like…Professor Snape would sound while confessing his undying love for Professor Umbridge?”

“Remember,” said Hedwig, “I am merely (too whoo!) An extension of your subconscious, (hoot hoot hoot) made temporarily real under the influence of firewhiskey. (Whirrrrr) I sound like whatever you (whoo hoo whoo hoo) want me to sound like.” You sick bastard. Snape, indeed. Couldn’t your warped mentality have fixated on Julia Roberts instead? Whoo hoo.

“’Snice,” said Harry, and passed out, his head landing on a carpet that, had he been aware of it, now had the exact same pattern as Professor Minerva McGonagall’s tartan dressing gown.


[1] David Tennant: The ONLY actor/famous person who is capable of eliciting such an over-the-top crazed fangirl-like response from me because he is just that awesome. With that statement, the famous-person-worshipping obsessive type of hormone-splurge obligatory to all "diary entries" is over for this post.

[2] Or, uhh...exploding frogs. Even more bizarrely, fruit.

[3] That was a joke, Internets. I am not going to blow anything up.